Step By Step
I stayed up way too late last night watching the World Series (go Sox!) so I had a hard time dragging myself out of bed this morning. So I thought that I would come up with a "How To Make Yourself Wake Up and Go To Boot Camp" ten-step program, for days when you just don't think you can make it through class (let alone get out of bed). I know, this is sort of like the blind leading the blind, but we're going to go with it:
Step 1.
When the alarm goes off, it is imperative that you immediately sit up in bed and think about work. Or something that causes you a great deal of stomach-gnawing stress, because that will help you to not feel sleepy anymore. Think about your list of things to do that day, or a big meeting or even your grocery shopping. The prospect of boot camp won't seem as bad when compared to the thought of responding to the deluge of emails you have at work.
Step 2.
People always say you should put out your clothes the night before. Not me. I stumble into my closet and, during the winter, proceed to put on every article of clothing I own. I hate being cold, and frankly I don't believe anyone who says that they actually like the cold weather. Remember, it's all about layers. You can always take off that pantsuit, sequined halter top and kimono once you get to camp and start getting warmed up.
Step 3.
If you own any pets, DO NOT LOOK AT THEM. They will look so cozy, curled up in a warm ball, nose to tail, their paws tucked underneath them. They'll probably hear you wake up, crack open an eyelid and survey you with one stress-free, smug eyeball, then stretch, yawn, and fold themselves back up into a furry pretzel. Sometimes I seriously want to drag my cat, Chubby Charles (that's really her name), with me to boot camp. Instead I say to her "Why don't you make something of yourself? All you do is sleep. Go climb a tree."
Step 4.
Think about Thanksgiving. There's no real reason behind this step, I just like Thanksgiving and it encourages me to get out of bed.
Step 5.
While driving to boot camp, I listen to assorted morning radio shows and think about how glad I am I'm not a DJ on a morning show. Can you imagine if your job relied on you waking up at 3:30 AM every day? Talk about pressure.
Step 6.
You are going to want to do a donut in the parking lot as soon as you get to boot camp. I stop myself from turning around, driving away in a haze of smoke and not slowing down until I get to Mexico by reminding myself that in an hour, this will all be over. That's sort of the same thing as the dentist saying "This will only hurt for a second" when they give you a shot of Novocaine in the mouth, but denial is a technique that has worked for centuries so who am I to argue against it.
Step 7.
The Tread of Dread. This is what I call the few steps you take as you walk from your car to boot camp, dragging your water bottle, exercise mat, barbells, 25 extra pounds and badonkadonk. There's still enough time to back out, but you are too weighed down by all of your accessories that you don't think you can even move fast enough. Just keep walking. Those 25 pounds aren't going to lose themselves.
Step 8.
During roll call, it is key that you actually stay awake. I have felt myself drifting off to sleep during roll call so many times while lying on my mat and closing my eyes. I always know when I'm really tired because I start thinking as I fall asleep, "Sleeping outside isn't so bad. We should do it more often. Who needs houses? I like boot camp," and other various fallacies.
Step 9.
The first warm up run you do is only a small teaser of how much you have left to do. I have found that the faster you run, the faster it is over. I don't like it, but that's an undeniable fact, so I suggest you run as fast as you can. The same cannot be applied to everything though, because no matter how much you want it to be over, one minute holding the plank is one minute holding the plank no matter how you slice it. So don't be fooled by the sneaky plank.
Step 10.
The Walk of Pain. As you limp back to your car at 6:30 AM, just remember this: You get to do it all again tomorrow! Ow.
Step 1.
When the alarm goes off, it is imperative that you immediately sit up in bed and think about work. Or something that causes you a great deal of stomach-gnawing stress, because that will help you to not feel sleepy anymore. Think about your list of things to do that day, or a big meeting or even your grocery shopping. The prospect of boot camp won't seem as bad when compared to the thought of responding to the deluge of emails you have at work.
Step 2.
People always say you should put out your clothes the night before. Not me. I stumble into my closet and, during the winter, proceed to put on every article of clothing I own. I hate being cold, and frankly I don't believe anyone who says that they actually like the cold weather. Remember, it's all about layers. You can always take off that pantsuit, sequined halter top and kimono once you get to camp and start getting warmed up.
Step 3.
If you own any pets, DO NOT LOOK AT THEM. They will look so cozy, curled up in a warm ball, nose to tail, their paws tucked underneath them. They'll probably hear you wake up, crack open an eyelid and survey you with one stress-free, smug eyeball, then stretch, yawn, and fold themselves back up into a furry pretzel. Sometimes I seriously want to drag my cat, Chubby Charles (that's really her name), with me to boot camp. Instead I say to her "Why don't you make something of yourself? All you do is sleep. Go climb a tree."
Step 4.
Think about Thanksgiving. There's no real reason behind this step, I just like Thanksgiving and it encourages me to get out of bed.
Step 5.
While driving to boot camp, I listen to assorted morning radio shows and think about how glad I am I'm not a DJ on a morning show. Can you imagine if your job relied on you waking up at 3:30 AM every day? Talk about pressure.
Step 6.
You are going to want to do a donut in the parking lot as soon as you get to boot camp. I stop myself from turning around, driving away in a haze of smoke and not slowing down until I get to Mexico by reminding myself that in an hour, this will all be over. That's sort of the same thing as the dentist saying "This will only hurt for a second" when they give you a shot of Novocaine in the mouth, but denial is a technique that has worked for centuries so who am I to argue against it.
Step 7.
The Tread of Dread. This is what I call the few steps you take as you walk from your car to boot camp, dragging your water bottle, exercise mat, barbells, 25 extra pounds and badonkadonk. There's still enough time to back out, but you are too weighed down by all of your accessories that you don't think you can even move fast enough. Just keep walking. Those 25 pounds aren't going to lose themselves.
Step 8.
During roll call, it is key that you actually stay awake. I have felt myself drifting off to sleep during roll call so many times while lying on my mat and closing my eyes. I always know when I'm really tired because I start thinking as I fall asleep, "Sleeping outside isn't so bad. We should do it more often. Who needs houses? I like boot camp," and other various fallacies.
Step 9.
The first warm up run you do is only a small teaser of how much you have left to do. I have found that the faster you run, the faster it is over. I don't like it, but that's an undeniable fact, so I suggest you run as fast as you can. The same cannot be applied to everything though, because no matter how much you want it to be over, one minute holding the plank is one minute holding the plank no matter how you slice it. So don't be fooled by the sneaky plank.
Step 10.
The Walk of Pain. As you limp back to your car at 6:30 AM, just remember this: You get to do it all again tomorrow! Ow.
Labels: getting out of bed, motivation
posted by Mean Rachel at 2:13 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home