I'm Hot! I'm Hot??
My boyfriend left me a comment on my social networking site. I had posted a new picture of me and he left me a compliment, saying I am "hot". I've never been the hot girl. For that matter, I've never been the skinny girl, either. But one of his friends also left me a comment. Since it would be poor form for him to tell me I'm hot, he wrote "smoochie smoochie". Ummm...I'm translating that to "I'm hot!". LOL
Going through bootcamp has changed more than the number of lying leg raises I can do. It's starting to transform me inside as well. I've always been the girl who ended up holding purses or standing guard over cocktails while my skinnier, cuter friends were dancing with attractive guys. I was always that girl, the one who has gorgeous friends and ends up talking to the man who's left behind when his handsome friends have escorted my chicas to the dance floor, the bar for another drink or aside to exchange numbers. I've never been bitter; this phenomenon is a fact of my life. I don't mind having sexy, beautiful friends.
What I never noticed was how much I discount myself. How often I think of myself as the "plain one" or the "girl next door" or worse, the "chubby one". After much sweating and effort I've seen the physical results of my boot camp workouts. And weeks later, I'm starting to see the emotional results. My boyfriend is right. I am hot. I am alluring, bewitching and delightful. It's not just the exterior that makes me this way, it's who I am inside. I'm enchanting! I push myself to excel, not just in boot camp but in the world. I believe life is about living, not merely existing. My desire is to enjoy each day as a fragrant taste, not as another 24 hours to get through.
My boot camp experience has helped me through a bland, oatmeal-colored vision of who I thought I was: a flabby, not young anymore female desperately holding onto any vestige of youth possible. Now I know that using slang and dressing in cute and hip fashions doesn't mean I'm trying to be younger than my age. Texting my friends "Meet 4 dnnr @ 6" and maintaining a myspace or Facebook page doesn't mean I'm attempting to reclaim my twenties. I'm 4 decades old physically and I am stronger than ever. I'm all upbeat energy in a package that may still be less than what I'd like but others are telling me loud and clear is definitely alright with them. And that is exactly what keeps me motivated to get up before dawn and go to boot camp. My BF and his friends think I am "hawt".
Going through bootcamp has changed more than the number of lying leg raises I can do. It's starting to transform me inside as well. I've always been the girl who ended up holding purses or standing guard over cocktails while my skinnier, cuter friends were dancing with attractive guys. I was always that girl, the one who has gorgeous friends and ends up talking to the man who's left behind when his handsome friends have escorted my chicas to the dance floor, the bar for another drink or aside to exchange numbers. I've never been bitter; this phenomenon is a fact of my life. I don't mind having sexy, beautiful friends.
What I never noticed was how much I discount myself. How often I think of myself as the "plain one" or the "girl next door" or worse, the "chubby one". After much sweating and effort I've seen the physical results of my boot camp workouts. And weeks later, I'm starting to see the emotional results. My boyfriend is right. I am hot. I am alluring, bewitching and delightful. It's not just the exterior that makes me this way, it's who I am inside. I'm enchanting! I push myself to excel, not just in boot camp but in the world. I believe life is about living, not merely existing. My desire is to enjoy each day as a fragrant taste, not as another 24 hours to get through.
My boot camp experience has helped me through a bland, oatmeal-colored vision of who I thought I was: a flabby, not young anymore female desperately holding onto any vestige of youth possible. Now I know that using slang and dressing in cute and hip fashions doesn't mean I'm trying to be younger than my age. Texting my friends "Meet 4 dnnr @ 6" and maintaining a myspace or Facebook page doesn't mean I'm attempting to reclaim my twenties. I'm 4 decades old physically and I am stronger than ever. I'm all upbeat energy in a package that may still be less than what I'd like but others are telling me loud and clear is definitely alright with them. And that is exactly what keeps me motivated to get up before dawn and go to boot camp. My BF and his friends think I am "hawt".
posted by Kay at 6:22 PM
2 Comments:
I am glad to see that you finally see the person I have been seeing for years. You are amazing and HOT and can now hold plank longer than half of austin now:)
strut that stuff lady.....you deserve it after all your hard work!! I will hold your purse for you anyday ;)
Awwww...you're making me all teary eyed! Thank you my sexy, beautiful friend.
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